



7:22 AM
After work finish at 2am.
Broke my quit cig thing.
Smoking and slack with derrick and work mates till 4am den go home.
Tot was very tired but when i lie on my bed i just cant sleep...don noe why...
Till 5 where my dad fall asleep.
Den went to my study room for smoke back there i realise i left with onli 4 stick.
Memorize flash back again. But this time more worst.
Each day passes each day become more worst.
Heart is lik crying or cracking... i don noe but i cant cry out loud..
OH YEAH i forgot i borrow dickson's dad $650 for his bike.[cos if he cant pay den no work anymore; lik his rice bowl]
Anyway back to the topic. Lol. I realise that although she was my number 5 ex but
she was the first girl who slpet at my bed,
the first girl who i bought a couple ring worth 3 digit,
the first girl whom i loved till tot of marriage
and who was the first girl whom i waste so much on her... and with her.
Lol. Anyway she's rich. Money for her is nothing though but for me is something...
Im toking about is not the money thing...
Is the feeling that i had with her.
Just by 5 month nvr hold hands and lc which she don wan (cos i smoke) plus about 3 months nvr meet.
With msg her that she didnt reply or got reply mostly 1 word if not, not longer than 10 words except i told her about i taking bike, end up broke up with me for the stupid major exam.
Anyway still hoping she didnt read this and hoping she pass her exam of "O" level.
I got no idea she got torture of?
I got no idea why end up this way?
Is it im not good enough?
Just hope that she got someone in mind.... but in fact not.
She just broke up cos of major exam.
Anyway i typing on phone rite now which is 5.45am monday.
My last stick now.. LOL..
Cos i cant sleep. Don noe y feel stupid. All this happen lik having a nightmare but no... is the fact. Oh yeah i forgot today is monday 25 may 2009 later still have to go school at 8am.
Think wat am i wrong?
Cos i didnt meet her?
Or is it when i free, she's not but when she free, im not so end up nvr meet?
Haiz. Feel lik this is realli my First love gone to her although she's my number 5 exgirlfriend.
Feel lik dying rite now.
But i cant cos theres lots of things for me to do.
Working, schooling and parents are waiting for me to support for them.
Haiz. Time fly slow by just staring at the time.
I think i can become God lol cos didnt had any food since friday.
Don noe why just don feel lik eating.
Onli drink plain water.
Don think too much tat i never eat cos of my ex, i just not hungry don noe y.
Now staring at the hearts thats she gave me...counting...
Plus with my last stick of cig.
Smoking. Lol. Wondering when is my last stick.
Hopfully i no more cig to smoke and try again to quit.
OMG!!! my gums still not okie yet lol.
When i spill i saw blood. Lol Lame..
Haiz my mum awake le. Crap.
I hate my gums been wasting blood whein i spill.
Oh.... 99 hearts that she fold...
Lol. but i don noe wat it means..
Just found that by typing all this, makes me feel better.
And sleepy. Crap sia.
Now finally finish my last stick.
Just by looking at the window now, the sun lik sleeping wor...
Hmmm now im back to my room lie-ing on my bed.
By just watching at the time now is 6.05am more worst cant sleep have to wait time fly than go bath and everything.
But somehow i now feel lik sleeping lol.
But i cant.
Haiz. later need to be in school at 8am cos 8am start class got test.
I didnt even bother to study or read.
Just don feel lik it.
Haha. Now my room is all up with darkness den onli my hands holding my N81 typing lol.
It looks funny, cos onli my phone is lighten up.
Haiz. Hope today school end early so later reach home can rest more.
Lol. Just yawn feel super sleepy think i rest for a while see how if i nvr type means i sleep liao.
Lol. hug pillow still cant sleep.
Den struggle till 6.30am finally fall asleep without knowing.
Till my dad wake me up at 7.45am lol. =]
Haha was late for school.
But still rush to school.
Somehow i onli realise that i onli slept for onli 1 hour plus.
But i felt quite awake right now.
Now in school at 8.13am
Anyway one funny thing is that i don noe is that me a not.
Cos when i wake up first thing i smell was my brother's cig feel lik vomit.
Lik i never had any cig before lol.
Now even though i still coughing but i still feel that today is a refresh day! =]
Lik everything went smoothly.
Lol somehow feel very happy.
Not from my body i think... 0.o Lol xD
Haha.... Happiness. =]
Think thats all i gonna write for now. =]
Haha happiness out of me! ^^
Wow now is 4.34pm was now in bus 985...
Wow the air-con was nice cos of the weather fucking hot. Lol.
But nvm today i never have much sweat as the normal days Lol.
First time sweat till very thirsty lol.
Although i don lik hot weather but somehow today i seems to enjoy it. LOL
Now still in bus at PIE. than to dickson house.
Get a change than need straight go to hougang to celebrate with all Mr White and Mr Black Birthday.
Wonderful isnt it!! Lol..
Think when i reach dickson house den tranfer all my word here to blog.
Sometimes i do scare that she read my blog den later affected to her exams or studys.
But i don intend to hide hide just post all out.
Just hope that she's not that free to read. Lol
Think this time is my first time write this long lik a compo.
But actually not.
Just happen to write all down of my happenings either sad or happy, just write down as a story for me to read when i got bored or Sua Sua got accident or something or lost memorize so i can read through my blog to recall back. =]
Hmmm think i don write anymore later my phone no batt den can type anymore. =/
Phew! At 4.48pm i was in the bus just now, the bus was driving at the constant speed.
But den it suddenly brake or stoped lol.
Phew lik i said accidently lol.
Think don say much would be better lol.
If not from wat i type for now in future just guessing which is fiction can turn to fact lol.
I don wan this fact wor...
Anyway now at bukit timah le.
Once i take abit of rest of my hand on typing.
Now at timah. Wow. LOL that was fast! =]
Reach dickson house.. but cannot use comp wor...
His gf using; think later when i reach home than tranfer lo. Sad.
Lol now in bus 985 to boon keng.
Boring 6.30pm on PIE high way looking at those cars and motors.
Finally in the mrt going to hougang.
But not hougang mall is hougang plaza. =]
7.03pm reach hougang mall with dickson.
At first i tot i will feel funny but...
Funny i felt nothing. lik as per normal.
Just reach the place at 7.14pm
Haiz. 9.02pm finally ended....
Wow it was lik hell lol.
When dickson jump 3 year old God, been walking 3 to 4 rounds around the place.
He give sweets to ppl. and to me too 3 lollipop and 4 sweets! lol.
And we just walk with Him just for taking care of Him.
One funny part about him is that he eat the sweets with the plastic. LOL.
Den we all blank for about few den tell Him that the plastic from the sweets haven take out.
But He just ignore.
lol.
Den one of us tell Him that the plastic cant be eaten so he taken out for Him and throw away.
Hmmm got alot of ppl see him jump that God . Lol. than the ppl blank lol
lik never see before a young teen can jump God. lol.
haha think he gonna be famous!!
Cos got ppl take video cam of the whole thing when start till the ended.
Haha After all have a wonderful day though.
Hmmm i think my life still worth to carry on =]
finally finish writing now is 11.52pm..
was busying tranfer the words from phone N81 to blog.
plus eating haha don noe somehow got so fucking hungry... maybe cos of i eat the sweets that the God eat half way pass it to me to asking me to eat ba... or maybe i too long nvr eat than hungry lor... lol...
hahah i still eating wor... full of food.. to eat ar... weeee....
i think im able to let go i think... or maybe not....
not sure have to depend later when i finish my food and try to sleep see whether can a not...
Ahhh shit now 12 am liao is 26/05/09 liao i haven sleep and see my next day and now is my
next day liao lol...
finally finish my food at 12.01am...
lol...
k la... my longest post of all post i think.....
here theres a new song for u guys to go check the song out! =]
had this song at 25/05/2009 3plus am...
Every Little Thing by Dishwalla